Sunday, August 19, 2012

Wives, Willingly Submit yourselves to your Husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Series: What I'd Like to Know Is…
August 19, 2012

Dear friends in Christ.

Fourteen years ago today, at this very moment, my wife and I were probably packing our last suitcases and getting ready to head out to the airport to catch our flight back to Milwaukee.  The adventure that was our honeymoon was coming to a close, but the adventure that is our marriage was just beginning.  In just a few short weeks, I would be returning for my final year at the Seminary as a married man, and Miss Hatter’s classroom would now be taken over by Mrs. Shilling.  Before we knew it, we would begin learning things about each other that we hadn’t known before.  We would grow in our love and caring for each other.  Laura would bask in the love with which I cherished her then and continue to cherish her today, and I would begin to learn just what it meant to have a wonderful and loving wife, willingly submitting herself to me.  It was during that year that we both began to understand what the Lord is speaking about when he calls on wives to willingly submit themselves to their husbands, as Paul writes in our lesson this morning.  “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22–24, NIV84)

Wow!  These are some very powerful words.  Not only are these some very powerful words, but these are words that very few people want to hear.  These are words that very few people want to hear because they are some of the most misunderstood words in the Bible. They are so misunderstood because ever since the first sin entered the world, these words have been understood in the context of value rather than in the context of function.  Though as Paul was speaking specifically of the function, or the roll of a wife in marriage when he calls on wives to willingly submit themselves to their husbands, so often women of all ages have perceived the very act of submission as something that will devalue them as a person in marriage and even in society.  In fact, it is very easy for women of all ages to feel that the simple act of submission will devalue them in some way or another simply because society keeps telling them that if they submit themselves to someone or something their value as a person will be diminished. On top of that, there are many women who have felt devalued by men who have used the words of Ephesians 5 to keep them down, to keep them in their place, and to simply exert the idea that as men, they have, in some way, a greater value than a woman or a wife.

However, Ladies, as Paul writes these words calling on wives to willingly submit themselves to their husbands, he is assuring you of your great value as a daughter of your heavenly Father and as a sister of your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  As Paul writes these words he is assuring each and every one of you, Ladies, that you are a child of God, and that your value is exactly the same as any man.  Whether you are a young girl, a young woman, a woman in the prime of your life, an honored woman distinguished by age, a wife or a mother, you are God’s dearly loved child through faith in Christ Jesus.  You are a woman of great value to your Father in heaven, and now as a woman of great value, your heavenly father is asking you to fulfill a very specific function.  What I mean is this: take a look at our lesson again and see what the Lord is asking of you.  Paul writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22–24, NIV84)

Now, before you get too hung up on that word, “submit” pages with me back to Ephesians chapter 1, and let’s look, together, at the great value that the Lord places on both men and women as his children.  As Paul opens this letter he writes, “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus: 2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—" (Ephesians 1:1–5, NIV84)

Now, some of you might be thinking, “If God places such value on both men and women, why is he talking only about sons?  Why not ‘children’?”  The reason for this is that in Paul’s day, in Greek culture, Roman culture, and Jewish culture, sons were the heirs of the family.  In other words Paul’s point is that we have all been adopted as heirs of God, and as the Bible tells us in other places, “We are co-heirs with Jesus Christ.”  So, whether we are men or women, boys or girls, we are all heirs of God because he valued us so highly that we were all adopted as heirs.  Back to verse 5:  “In love 5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9 And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. 11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory." (Ephesians 1:4b–14, NIV84 emphasis added)

This, ladies, is your value as daughters of your heavenly Father and sisters of your Savior Jesus Christ!  This, Ladies, is the value that Paul continues to convey to both men and women in the next few chapters of his Letter to the Ephesians.  In fact, follow with me Paul’s train of thought by taking a look at the headings in your Bibles.  Verse 15-23 Paul gives thanks for the believers in Ephesus and prays for them.  Chapter 2:1-10 he reminds us that we have all been made alive in Christ through his death and resurrection.  Now, through faith in him we are all one in Christ as Ephesians 2:11-22 assures us.  In Chapter 3, Paul the preacher to the gentiles prays for the Ephesian Christians, praying in verse 16 that Christ would strengthen them.  Verse 17, that Christ would dwell in them and that they be rooted and established in love.  Verse 18 and following that they might grasp the all surpassing love of God in Christ Jesus their Savior.  Then, from Chapter 4 on Paul urges the believers in Christ, men and women who are co-equal in value before God the Father; he urges them to do something that to my knowledge, has never caused anyone in our congregation to get bent out of shape.  In these verses Paul calls on them to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Chapter 4:  As these believers have reached a unity in the body of Christ through faith in Jesus, Paul urges them to live a life worthy of the calling they have received, to be humble, gentle, and patient with each other.  He calls on them to understand the different functions that the Lord gave to these believers who had the same value as each other.  Yet, “It was [the Lord] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:11–13, NIV84)  Again, these believers who all had the same value in Christ had different functions in Christ’s kingdom.  Thus Paul tells these as men and women, these believers who all had the same value but different functions, Paul tells them in verse 17 to live as children of the light.  In Chapter 5:1 to be imitators of God as dearly loved children of God; in verse 15 to be wise; in verse 18 to be filled with the spirit.  Then, in verse 21 Paul so simply sums up everything he’s been telling us from chapter 4:1–5:20 by saying, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:21, NIV84)

Following all this talk about our equal value in Christ as men and women, and our function to submit ourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ, Paul applies the principle all the further as he essentially says, “Wives, you who are so valuable as daughters of your heavenly Father and sisters of your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Show your love for the Lord your God and for your husband by performing this simple, God pleasing function.  Willingly submit yourselves to your husband, as to the Lord, because according to the order of creation, the man was created first, and his function is to be the head of the wife; just as Christ is the head of the church of which he is the Savior.  And in the same way that Christ’s bride, the church willingly submits herself to him, and Christ’s function was to submit himself to the will of his heavenly father, even though he is co-equal in majesty and glory with him, so also wives, your function, in Christ, is to willingly submit yourselves to your husbands.  Oh, and just in case you are worried that your husband might take advantage of this, just look at his function.  His function is to lovingly cherish you as his wife.”  Which is exactly what we discussed for nearly 40 minutes last week.

But what does Paul mean by asking wives to willingly submit themselves to their husbands?  Well, as one commentator tells us, “The word submit is from the Greek word hupotasso (hupo, “under”; tasso, “to line up,” “to get in order,” “to arrange”), which, in a military sense, means “to rank beneath or under.” As Christians, we are to rank ourselves under one another, not over one another. The whole mentality of the Christian life as we relate to each other is one of humility and submissiveness.”[1]  Or as another has said, “Ladies, submission simply means that we keep our heads just low enough so that when God strikes someone our husbands are the ones who get clobbered.”  But probably the best example of submission comes from the example of Jesus recorded in Philippians 2 where Paul writes, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:3–8, NIV84)

This is what I see so regularly in you ladies.  Whether you are young or old, married, widowed, or single, so often I see a loving and respectful heart that willingly submits itself to each other and to a husband.  So often I see your beauty revealed in your willingness to undergird your husbands, your families, your friends, your relatives, your church, and each other.  So often I see God’s grace revealed through you as you so willingly serve in so many different ways.  You so willingly give of yourselves, cooperating and communicating with your husband so that your values and goals are aligned together.  You grow together in your marriage adapting yourselves to the needs of your relationship.  You lovingly encourage your husband to be the head and spiritual leader of your home.  You grow in your own faith and encourage your husband with your reverent life. 

These are but a few of the ways that you willingly submit yourselves to your husband as to the Lord.  May the Lord continue to bless you in this valuable roll which he has bestowed upon you!  May he increase your faith as you serve him in whatever way is pleasing in his sight!  Amen.

Pastor David M. Shilling
Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church--Le Sueur, MN


[1] John F. MacArthur, Jr., The Fulfilled Family (Chicago: Moody Press, 1981).