August 5, 2012
Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today…
How often haven’t these words flooded your living
rooms as the main characters of your favorite TV show were joined together in
marriage? Though these are very familiar
words, they seem to have been made special by their specific use in
weddings. They are special because they
are used to mark the special day when a man and a woman are joined together as
husband and wife. Yet, even though a
wedding day is indeed a very special day, sadly marriage itself is no longer
treated as specially as it once was. But
even though marriage may not be regarded to be as special as it used to be, we
know that marriage is indeed something that is very special. In fact, as we continue this series of things
that you would like to know, the question that we want to answer this morning
is, “What is so special about marriage?”
To find out “What is so special about marriage?” I
invite you to turn with me to Genesis 2:18-25.
Now, as you are turning there, let me remind you of what the Lord had
accomplished up to this point. It was
day six. The Lord had already created
light, separated the water from the water and the land from the water. He had produced vegetation on the land. He had created the sun, moon and stars. He had filled the seas with fish and the
skies with birds. Now, on day 6 the Lord
called forth and created all the land animals from the land by his word. He had formed Adam out of the dust of the
ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and Adam became a
living being; a living being who had been created in the perfect, holy, and
sinless image of God. He took Adam and
put him in the garden to tend it, giving him every seed bearing plant and tree
for food except for the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil at the center of
the garden. Then the Lord brought to
Adam all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air so that Adam
could name them, and in doing so, Adam would have discovered that there was no
one like him in all creation. Thus, the
Lord prepared Adam for the great thing that he was about to do. Take a look with me at our lesson in Genesis
2 beginning with verse 18:
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be
alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the LORD God had formed
out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He
brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man
called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all
the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for
Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall
into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and
closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib
he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called
‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." (Genesis
2:18–25, NIV84)
This was God’s plan for Adam from the
beginning. However, it was not the
Lord’s intention to simply foist a helper and companion upon the man. Rather, before extending his gift, the Lord
took steps to make the man keenly aware of the fact that he was alone. The Lord followed a course of action that
would awaken a deep longing in the man’s heart for a companion who would be
like him. Thus, the Lord placed Adam
into a deep sleep and took one of his ribs.
But it was not just the rib as we so easily remember, rather, from the
Hebrew we get the picture of the Lord taking the rib and all that was attached
to it; both the flesh and the bone. From
that rib, taken from the man’s body, the Lord fashioned the strong and
beautiful, the tender and delicate form of the woman. In the same way that an able and resourceful
builder constructs elegant and graceful buildings from the raw materials of
stone, wood, and metal, so also the Almighty God fashioned the most beautiful
of his creatures from a rib and the flesh attached to it. With loving care the Lord fashioned and built
the woman who was to be the companion that the man so sorely needed. With loving care the Lord formed the woman
from the side of the man; from the man’s rib and attached flesh and from no
other part of his body. Thus the Lord
demonstrated that the woman was meant to stand beside the man as a helper and a
companion. She was meant to stand by his
side as a dearly loved and cherished helper, companion, lover, and friend. In his great wisdom, the Lord built the woman
from the man so that the human race might be built up through the woman by the
man.
Can’t you just imagine the look on Adam’s face when
the Lord brought Eve to him and he saw her for the first time? Of course you can! Whether you’re married or
not we have all seen that look on the faces of men and boys whenever they are
stunned and overwhelmed by the beauty of a woman. In fact, my sister has a picture of me with
that very look on my face. It was taken
at the very moment when I first saw my bride standing at the back of the
church, preparing to walk down the aisle on our wedding day. For Adam, that same photo is revealed in his
words, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” (Genesis 2:23,
NIV84) As Adam named all the animals in
verse 20 he found no suitable helper, no creature that was like him; no one
with whom he could form a lasting fellowship or companionship. But now, this time, as the Lord presented Eve
to Adam, he saw the companion who was like him.
He saw the woman who was indeed of the same bones as he was; who was of
the same flesh as he was, for she had been taken out of him, and formed by his
loving creator. As Adam stood in the
church of God’s creation, down the aisle walked the Lord, escorting his
daughter Eve so that he might give his daughter, in marriage, to his son. There, before God and his creation the first
man and the first woman were united in marriage before the Lord their creator,
becoming one flesh as husband and wife.
In this way, at the beginning of time, the Lord
established marriage as a special bond between a man and a woman. The Lord established marriage as the time
when a man leaves his father and mother; when a woman leaves her mother and
father. It is a special time when the
two of them are united by God as one; becoming one flesh through the promises
they make to each other. They are united
to each other as one flesh through their promise to commit themselves to each
other and forsake all others until death shall separate them. Though it is true that a man and a woman
become one body through sexual union, it is only in marriage, under the
promises made before God, that the two of them become one flesh together
through their sexual union.
In this special way, as the Lord united the first
man and the first woman together as husband and wife he blessed them with the
special companionship that grows between husbands and wives as their love for
each other increases and deepens. In
this way the Lord blessed them with children, as he gave them the privilege to
be the ones to fill the earth and subdue it.
He gave them the opportunity to tell their children the precious truths
of salvation; the message that even though they were the ones who messed up,
the Lord had promised that one day he would send a Savior who would free them
from their sins so that they could live with him forever in his heavenly
kingdom. He even provided for Eve the
safety and security that spoke so deeply to the heart of the woman, and he
provided the avenue for Adam to provide strength for his wife, which is something
that speaks directly to the heart of the man.
Though roughly 6,000 to 7,000 years have passed
since that first marriage, marriage is still just as special today as it was
then. In the same way that the Lord
specifically made Adam and Eve for each other, so also the Lord still
specifically brings a certain man together with a certain woman and unites them
together as husband and wife in marriage.
Marriage today is still a gift through which the Lord bestows a very
special companionship and friendship between a man and a woman. Marriage is still the only way that the Lord
makes a man and a woman into one flesh and provides them with God pleasing joy
in their sexual union.
The problem, however, is that it wasn’t all that
long after Adam and Eve were married in God’s perfection that they sinned and
ruined the perfection with which the Lord had blessed them in marriage. Now, because of sin, there are problems in
marriage. If you are married, then you
will know many of them first hand. If
you are looking to get married then you will one day experience many of them
first hand. If you are not yet married
or have not married, though you may not have experienced them first hand, you
will have seen them in others. Though it
was through marriage that the Lord provided the safety and security that so
many women seek, because of sin, it is not always there. Though it was through marriage that the Lord
provided an avenue for a man to provide strength for his wife, because of sin,
so often a man’s strength is either missing, or misused. Though it was through marriage that the Lord
provided a special companionship and friendship for a man and a woman, because
of sin, that companionship can be riddled with arguments, frustrations, hurt
feelings, anger, and even resentment.
Though marriage was designed to be a life-long union of one man and one
woman, because of sin, many marriages have fallen apart, dissolved, or ended in
divorce. Because of sin, there are so
many marriages that have come to an end because one or both was looking for a
way out; because one or both began finding, or even seeking pleasure in
another’s company. Because of sin, so
many marriages have come to an end because one or both entered the marriage on
a trial basis. Because of sin, so many
marriages have fallen apart because husband and wife lost that loving
spark. They didn’t know what to do after
the feeling of love faded, and after too many years of not feeling love or
feeling loved, one or both of them has simply called it quits. Some of you have seen these things happen to
your closest friends, and it has broken your heart. Some of you have seen these things happen to
your children, and it has crushed you.
Some of you may have even gone through things like this yourself, and
you have felt the effects of sin first hand.
So what is the solution? How can I work at keeping God’s gift of
marriage special? Simple! Turn to the Lord, and confess your sins. Take time today, find a quiet place, a place
where you can be alone, and confess to the Lord all your sins and all the ways
you have failed to keep God’s gift of marriage special. Ask Jesus to help you remember your sins, to
confess them, and to renounce them.
Then, when you have confessed and received the forgiveness that Jesus
longs to lavish on you, ask Jesus to send the Holy Spirit into your heart so
that you can live in his forgiveness and begin to heal. Begin to live in Jesus’
forgiveness and grow in God’s Word.
Begin to recognize God’s precious gift of marriage and God’s design for
marriage. If you feel that you need
help, you can always seek it from your Pastor.
Or you can seek it from a professional Christian counselor; someone who
can help you to wade through hurts and live in God’s love. And grow; grow in your faith through worship
and personal Bible reading, and learn how to love by reading about how to love
and respect each other inside and outside of marriage.
This, in fact, is the assignment I have for each and
every one of you today. In your bulletin
you will find a half sheet insert with a pair of highly recommended books. On one side is the book, The Five Love
Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman. In this
book he talks about the ways we show love and the ways that we feel loved. Sometimes the biggest problem that couples
face is that one or both are working very hard to show love but one or both are
not feeling loved because the way that they feel loved is not the way the other
shows love. They are in essence speaking
two different languages when it comes to love.
The other book is, Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. In this book he talks about the cycle that
many couples go through when love or respect is lacking. For, as he says, if a man does not feel
respected by his wife, he will not show her love, and if she does not feel
loved by her husband, she will not show him respect. As he explains this he teaches husbands and
wives how to change their lives and get off the crazy cycle. Now, I put these in your bulletin because the
assignment I’m giving each and every one of you is to procure a copy of each of
these books and take time to read them.
Whether you are married or not, they will be a help to you in all your
relationships. If you are struggling in
a relationship or in a marriage, it will help you to change for the
better. If you have a wonderful
relationship or marriage, it will only get that much better. I have read both of them many times, and they
have helped me to grow and improve personally in relationships, as well as made
my marriage that much better.
Though marriage may not be viewed as all that
special in our world today, as God’s children, we know just how special it
is. As God’s children, whether we are
married or not, we seek to keep God’s gift of marriage special through our
words and actions, as well as with the way that we live our lives. As you do this, take up the assignment I have
given you. Confess your sins to the
Lord! Receive his forgiveness! Grow in your faith, and read the books that I
have told you about. In this way you
will grow in your relationship with the Lord, with your spouse, and with others
as you give glory to your God by keeping his gift of marriage special.
Amen.
Pastor
David M. Shilling
Grace Evangelical
Lutheran Church--Le Sueur, MN
